


Thank You Very Much

by Lord_Demetrius_King



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: ...she's still makes questionable decisions, Dubious Morality, Family Dynamics, Gen, Good Petunia Evans Dursley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:56:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29857038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Demetrius_King/pseuds/Lord_Demetrius_King
Summary: Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, is proud to say that’s she’s perfectly normal, thank you very much.Not a spot on her record.Not an ounce of uniqueness.Not even a detention.She was plain.She was boring.She was just like everyone else.She was Perfectly Normal.Perfectly Unassuming~•~Or in which Petunia is lot more dangerous and a lot more emotionally attached to her family.
Relationships: Petunia Evans Dursley & Harry Potter, Petunia Evans Dursley & Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	Thank You Very Much

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! This fic is mainly just me putting ideas on here so that wouldn't forget them. And this one has been plaguing my mind for the past month so I though, "Why the fuck not?"
> 
> So here we are, and here's the first chapter
> 
> Hope yall like!!!
> 
> :)

Petunia was 8 when the lessons started.

“A mask, my angels”, Mama had told them when they were younger. “Is your shield, what protects you in the most crucial of ways. Never let it go, my dears, its better when people don’t know what you’re capable of.”

Many overlooked Mama for her mask, her _Beauty_. They all thought she was nothing more than a beautiful red-head that wasn’t quite the brightest star in the sky. They thought her delicate, as if she were made of porcelain. They thought her Daddy was lucky to have such a perfect housewife.

_They were **wrong**._

“Never let anyone see your true face.”, she warned them, “Showing them your true face is to show weakness, one we can’t afford to show in this twisted world of ours.”

Petunia and Lily listened avidly to every one of her lessons. She taught them how to be perfect wives, how to be overlooked, how to hold the knife just right to make it a weapon at any given moment. 

She helped them find their masks.

Lily, sweet lovely Lily, had her _kindness_. 

Petunia, poor old Petunia, had her _plainness_.

And so, Mama coached them. Mama demonstrated how its done and had them practice it everyday she dropped them off at primary. 

And then Petunia reached 10 years old, and her lessons changed.

Mama drove her off, for hours they stayed in the car and Mama didn’t answer a single question until the arrived just out the outskirts from the Forest of Dean. Made one sharp turn into a dirt path Petunia never would have realized was there and finally they arrived at a small, gated little cottage, with the most beautiful garden filled with the most wonderful colored petals and greenest leaves.

_And the most poisonous of substances._

“You’re much like me, Tuney.”, Mama told her as she showed her how to harvest the honey the bees made from the flowers of the Oleander bushes, “You prefer the more…subtle arts. You don’t mind getting your hands dirty, but you’d rather ignore it more often than not. Your sister can learn, but I believe your father would play a more active role with her talents than I would.”

Petunia learned the way of her mother’s depth hand in dangerous botany. How to use cook dishes that were simply to _die_ for. How to get rid of _any_ stain and make it look spotless.

How to shift the home into a battlefield of her own making.

“This place, Petunia.” Mama started out levelly, “This place is your domain. Observe it, mark every tool, every object and look at it like a potential shield or weapon. Look at your surroundings and look for possible traps you can use to your advantage.”

And Petunia did, Mama taught her how to subtly interrogate someone, how to play with the minds of people, how to read the smallest of bodily cues a person may have.

Daddy also had a role in their lessons. He took them, both Lily and Petunia, out into the forest. Blinded their eyes and honed their senses. Taught them how to set traps and fire a rifle. Petunia’s first kill was a rabbit, small and frail, with a plain gray coat. Plain just like her, and she felt not an ounce of horror at her actions. But like Mama said, Daddy helped Lily more and Lily flourished. 

Petunia didn’t mind, Mama was right, playing the passive role was much more her style than the active role ever was. 

When Lily was 9 she started having strange…abilities. Mama and Daddy didn’t know what to do about it for a while, but Mama made some calls, and Daddy met with some old friends and soon her abilities were incorporated into their activities.

 _Magic_ , they had told them. Lily had magic, and while Petunia felt a small flash of jealousy for a moment, she quickly squashed it down. Mama always said that no matter what, they would protect each other, and at the end of the day, Lily was still her baby sister, _her_ Lily flower, and **_no one_ **will make her feel bad for being different.

So when a woman showed up 2 years later informing them of Lily’s acceptance to a magical school, they were ready for their performance. 

“That world is in an unstable place, my darlings.” Daddy had warned them, “I know you two don’t like playing this part, but its best that we make it appear like you don’t get on, puts less of a target on your back that way if that clusterfuck goes south.”

And they did, for the next seven years while Lily was at Hogwarts they acted their part, did their activities under their parents careful eyes, and held on to their mask like a lifeline. 

It wasn’t until Petunia reached her 17th birthday that she asked the big question.

_Why?_

Mama and Daddy didn’t answer her for a while, in fact they didn’t answer her that day. Or the next. Or the one after. Or even a week after. No, it was when Lily finally reached her own 17th birthday that she finally got some answers.

The Evans was not his real surname, Daddy had said. The Evans was a mask, a cover, from what he did not say. Simply that it was better to be prepared for the worst than not at all.

Mama had enemies of her own, ones she stated to have already been taken cared of, but like Daddy she thought it was better to be safe than sorry.

Their whole childhoods gone, wasted because of their parents paranoia. They trained them to kill, to assassinate, to cover up, to lie and deceive.

But Petunia and Lily couldn’t be angry, because they also taught them two very crucial things.

 _Protect_.

_Survive_

So they weren’t angry, not a single bit.

Mama and Papa died.

Murdered.

Daddy’s premonition of the impending doom from Lily’s world came into fruition. They targeted their home and tried to kill their parents. _Try_ being the main point. Because Rosemary and Holland Evans were many things, but easy kills wasn’t one of them. 21 bodies littered the property, all looking to have some kind of wound on them and a particular body hanging from the second floor railing by a very sturdy looking, tight tied blanket. 

No, Mama and Daddy didn’t make it easy for them, they clearly knew they were outmatched but made to take as many of them down with them. Looking at the scene she could practically picture the exact ways their parents killed these _Death Eaters,_ and took note of other ways that she hadn’t been taught before.

“Some got away.” Lily told her at the end of their funeral.

“Oh?”, Petunia mused quietly. She made a shooing motion towards Vernon, to which the man promptly walked toward the car, “Do you have names?”

“And locations.”, Lily hummed softly.

“Does Potter know you’re doing this?”

“ _James_ is a big boy, he can learn how to deal.”, Lily looked critically at her nails, but Petunia saw the tenseness in her shoulders and the shadowed look in her eyes.

“He doesn’t agree then.”, she concluded, it doesn’t surprise her. Potter had always been rather skittish when it comes to their more…morally dubious activities. “Do you need a place to stay?”

“Won’t Vernon mind?”

“Vernon only has a problem with your Husband.” Petunia assured, with a small quirk to her lips, “He rather likes you though.”

And their hunt began. 10 Death Eaters that were complacent in the murder of their parents, scattered around the country making for the most sporadic and deadly game of goose chase. 

It didn’t go unnoticed either. According to Lily they had a new nickname, the _Erinyes_. Petunia found it ridiculous, Lily found it hilarious. But in the end, nobody ever knew it was them, nobody ever knew that one of them was a muggle and that fit them just fine. 

A week after their last kill, Potter finally showed back up. Petunia was very tempted to kick them man in his manly bits if not for the clear look of remorse on his face. Good, she thought vindictively, at least sucked in his pride enough for this.

And that was the last time Petunia interacted with the Wizarding World, it should have been the last time.

And yet here it is, two years later, dragging her back in.

Harry was his name, the name of Lily’s son. Lily who was dead now, murdered by the madman that proclaimed himself a Dark Lord.

Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, is proud to say that’s she’s perfectly normal, thank you very much.

But inside she is hurting.

Inside she is raging.

Inside she is mourning.

_Inside she decides, that Lily’s baby won’t meet the same fate his mother did. Not if she has anything to say about it._

**Author's Note:**

> So my she's, they and gays, be as critical as you freaking won't with this fic. If you're on here from previous stories you would know that I absolutely **_thrive_** under criticism.
> 
> Leave a comment down below and tell me what yall think, and know that I only just finished this at nearly 3am, it potentially has multiple flaws lmao
> 
> Ciao! ✌🏼✌🏼


End file.
